3 Lessons I’ve Learned In My First Job
Immediately after graduating Uni, I was working as a Human Resource Executive. For 2 years. *yawn*
But this article is not written to boast about my achievements in my first job because anyone can write about their success stories, feel good, and call it a day.
I am here to open up about the mistakes that I have made in the early days of my career. Some are cringe-worthy while others are just straight-up painful. Nevertheless, I hope that by sharing these lessons, they can be of some value to you because looking back, these are the exact things I really wish someone had told me because it would’ve saved me a lot of time, energy, and most importantly unnecessary stress.
Of course, there were so many mistakes that I have made and failures that I faced back then but if I were to list all of them in this one article, I might as well just write a book. So, for now, let’s start with the first three lessons.
So, here they are:
1) If you have to choose between work or spending time with your friends/family, ALWAYS choose the latter
As I am writing this article, I feel almost ashamed of how many times I have turned down invitations from my friends to go out for a dinner, watch a movie, or simply just to hang out by dropping my infamous line of “I can’t. I have work to do”. I always felt like there was always too much work and it just felt never-ending. The workload was overwhelming. Unnecessarily overwhelming. But I will elaborate more on this later.
Of course, I feel a deep sense of regret whenever I think of those times or occasions when I had said no but there was this one particular time that really stood out to me even until now. I was invited to one of my childhood friends’ birthday party at this one fast-food restaurant that my friends and I always go to throughout our high school years. My friends informed me that this is also going to be a farewell gathering since he is going to leave for good, back to his originating country as his dad’s employment contract had come to an end.
Now, logically, you would think that the fact that this childhood friend of mine will be leaving for good and I don’t know if we will ever see each other or cross paths ever again will be enough of an ultimatum for me to drop everything and go. But nope. And guess what line I used as an excuse?
I didn’t even have the courtesy to say goodbye to him and spend time with him for the last time that night. This was someone who has been such a good friend of mine growing up.
I chose my work over my good friend.
I can’t help but think what would’ve happened if I had actually ditched my work and go to that party? Oh wait, I know:
- I would’ve had a great time with my friends and enjoyed the food
- I would’ve been grateful in the years to come because I had been there that night, spending some time with our friend before he leaves
- I would’ve had the chance to convey my sincere appreciation to him for being such a good friend after all these years and thank him for always being there for me
- I would’ve taken some pictures with all of my friends and keep those pictures as memories for the years to come
But what exactly happened? I was in the office up until late at night finishing up some stupid reports that no one really cared about.
See, most of the time in life, when we are going through experiences or moments, we think that they are just insignificant or ordinary. So what happens is we don’t really bother about it much, we think that oh it is just another party. Oh, it is just another dinner. We take those experiences or moments for granted because we always seem to think that there is always next time.
Have we ever actually paused and think that what if that is the last time? What if that is OUR last time?
Our work will never stop. But ask yourself this question: If I were to look back 5 years from now, which one I would thank myself for, either:
(a) choosing to stay in the office until late at night, finishing up my work and feeling miserable/bitter OR
(b) going to that gathering/party/happy hour, spending time with people you love/enjoy being around, having a fantastic time, and feeling happy
The answer is ALWAYS (b). ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS.
2) Know the difference between necessary and unnecessary shits
See, I think it all came down to me just being purely naïve. And maybe young. Earlier on, I mentioned that the workload was unnecessarily overwhelming. Here are the reasons why:
- I was doing the work of other managers from different departments on top of my own workload.
- I was being asked to be the Person-In-Charge (PIC) for events and other Company’s initiatives
- I was also the one who had to write-up Post-Mortem reports for all these events and initiative
When it comes to my own workload, there were a lot of unnecessary shits that were being dumped onto me just because I was the HR so I had to deal with it. Ok, few cases were as below:
- Few times, I had to get involved with the police due to a few infidelity scandal dramas that had escalated so badly between the employees and the clients.
- I almost got dragged to court due to some illegalities with regards to some of the employees’ paperwork.
- Few times every single week, I had to “solve” some stupid, petty “he said, she said” drama between some of the staffs
Yes, like I said. Unnecessarily overwhelming. You don’t have to get involved in all of the above nonsense like I did.
You, as an employee of a Company, should have the intention of delivering VALUES. But you can only excel at your role if you are focusing your time and energy on the necessary things that matter.
Speaking from experience, below are 4 questions that you should be asking yourself. I have also given some guide answers to help you out.
1) What is my role in this Company/ in my team?
The answer is supposed to be “I am a …….Contract Manager/Admin Executive/Cleaner” . NOT “Umm, I do a little bit of everything, here and there”. You’re not God. Please have a SPECIFIC role name.
2) What are my responsibilities for this role?
You should have a Job Description (JD). If you don’t have one, please ask from your Management. If you’re not given, please create one. I know this is a bit of a hassle but trust me when I say this. Having a JD will serve you good in the long run.
3) What are my goals and my action plans?
When it comes to goals, break them down into smaller chunks. Eg: If you are in sales, your annual sales target for this year is $100,000. So:
Every month = $100,000 / 12 months = roughly around $8.3k
Every week = around $2,000
Every day = around $297
When we break down things into smaller chunks, they seem more manageable and thus easier to achieve.
Action plans: What are the things that I can do this year/ this month/ this week/ today to achieve my goals?
Eg: Today, I will make 200 cold sales call, 80 first follow up calls and 30 second follow up calls.
4) What are my KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) for this role and how do I measure them?
Again, using Sales as an example:
- My monthly sales growth (My sales achievement in Jan, Feb, Mar, etc. and are they increasing)
- Track your calls against sales conversion (first cold call/email, second follow up call, etc and at which point do they convert into sales)
If you only focus on these 4 things, my child, you will not only thrive in your job but you will also be happier and more in peace.
In the working world, being a Jack of all trades and a master of none is a curse. I know, because I have been there quite a few times.
3) Mute/Ignore Toxic work Whatsapp group chats
In Brunei, Whatsapp is the most important communication tool, both for personal and work-wise. There is no doubt that Whatsapp is a useful communication tool for relaying information and/or messages on the spot. Here, it is common that employees will be added on to a couple or even a few work Whatsapp groups.
However, in my first job, our Whatsapp groups were used to:
- Call out staffs with rude remarks, names and sometimes even racist statements
- Give destructive criticism
- Develop blaming culture
- Create a fake “positive vibe” just for show to our bosses and higher ups
In short, the Whatsapp groups were TOXIC. I have spoken about this back then with my colleagues and we admitted that every morning, after we had just woken up and we were about to open our Whatsapp chats, we would feel really anxious because we never knew who would be called out what for x,y,z reasons. Reading texts full of negative and rude, disrespectful remarks all day every day is really draining and it really took its toll on us mentally and emotionally.
It was made mandatory for all of us to respond to texts if we were being called out in the groups, especially if we were being called out by the General Manager. Even if we were on leave or sick or it was way past working hours like 2–3 am. If we replied late or we did not reply at all, because, oh I don’t know, sometimes the negativity is too much we need a break??!!, we would be called out as incompetent or lazy or anything along those lines.
I understand that it is almost impossible to leave or say no when being added on to work Whatsapp groups no matter how reluctant you feel because you would want to seem like you are somewhat being a team player. However, having the experience of being in many toxic Whatsapp group drama/situations, I am here to tell you that you have the 110% right to MUTE/IGNORE these toxic group chats. Heck, mute it for one year if you want to.
The stress and the anxiety that come with these toxic Whatsapp groups are NOT WORTH IT. Not even one bit.
I understand if the job that you are currently doing might not be your passion. You might even feel demotivated every day coming to work.
But, what I want you to know is that I am also like you. I also have a day job that is not my passion yet I still come to work every day because hey, these bills don’t pay by themselves, right? We are in the same boat. I feel you.
However, because I have been in the working world for a few years, my skin is thicker and I am a bit wiser now. Back then, my aim was merely just to survive the day. I felt miserable every day and due to the overwhelming stress from my work back then, I started becoming physically ill more often. I also had a few episodes of depression.
I will continue to share all the lessons and insights that I have learned, open up about all my mistakes that I have made, and all my fuck ups throughout my career with the intention of guiding you if you are ever in the same situation and help you overcome these challenges.
So, let’s rise together.
